During our courtship, I remember telling my husband that when I have a kid, I might want to quit my job and be a full time mother. I had my priorities straight, family first; then my job. Six months into my marriage we found out I was expecting. We were overjoyed!
I always did well at work even though I wasn’t really passionate about my job. Eight months into my pregnancy I took a break from work for a year with the intention to quit immediately after. Our little girl was born at my native place. I was all set to be the best mom to my little baby who came into this world looking exactly like her dad and looks more like him every day.
The first three months went by like a blur. I was slowly recovering and I had a lot of help taking care of the baby from my parents and in laws.
I went back home in the 4th month and this is when the reality of being a full-time mother hit me hard. I had to do all the daily chores and take care of my daughter myself. I had to feed her, entertain her, change her nappies, wash her clothes, prepare her food, sing to her, the list is endless as any mother would know. When she slept I had to finish the household chores. And when she woke, the whole process repeated.
Initially I didn’t get time for anything! I was either doing some house work, cleaning up a mess that my daughter had made or simply dancing to her tunes. It was frustrating and I was so overwhelmed with the ‘tasks‘ I had to do that I was often in tears. It was then that I realised I needed to keep aside some time for prayer and that’s when I saw a huge change.
When I say change, I don’t mean that what I was doing changed, it was me who had changed. I had an identity at work and at home I felt like I was a ‘Nobody‘. But, through prayer, God showed me that I was a missionary in my house – to bring up my child with values, help her develop a relationship with her Creator, to support my husband in his role of leading and guiding the family. My household chores weren’t ‘tasks‘ but responsibilities that I had as a mother and as a wife which I must do out of love. As I slowly started accepting this, nothing seemed like a burden any longer. I held on to the verses
2 Corinthians 12:9 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
Philippians 4:13 “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
Proverbs 3: 5-6 says “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight”.
It’s amazing how faithful our God is when we put our trust in him. When I was expecting and we started looking at our finances, we knew that with a baby coming, one person’s salary would not be enough to make ends meet. But nevertheless we offered our uncertainties to God our Provider and asked Him to take care of it. We believed in His Providence. And again God was faithful. A day before I returned home, my husband got a promotion and a hike in salary which took care of all that we had feared. God in his faithfulness went a step ahead in blessing us when a new job opportunity for my husband came knocking at our door, which meant better pay and enough time with the family too.
As I continue my journey with Him, He teaches me to be joyful in all that I do. Of course this doesn’t mean I don’t get frustrated and lose my patience. But time and time again, He reminds me how I need to develop the fruits of the Holy Spirit: gentleness, peace, self-control. I have a long way to go to be a good mother and a good wife but I know all I need to do is surrender it completely and trust Him and He will be FAITHFUL.
Lamentations 3:22-23 “The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness”