One morning, as usual, as I sat down with a copy of the Holy Bible to read and reflect on the readings of that day, the Bible verse Matthew 17:20 left me in deep thought. It read
“It was because you do not have enough faith, answered Jesus. I assure you that if you have faith as big as a mustard seed, you can say to this hill, ‘Go from here to there!’ and it will go. You could do anything!”.
I pondered over this verse and asked myself as to what exactly Faith was. Many questions arose in my mind as to whether I had enough Faith. And the answer was ‘NO‘.
I realised that every time I prayed, I doubted. I applied my logic to whatever I prayed for and every time I did so, I concluded that whatever I was praying for, according to my knowledge, wasn’t practically possible. I failed to realise that the power of God was much greater than us human beings could comprehend. As I flipped through the bible looking for more verses on faith, I came across James 1:6
“But when you pray, you must believe and not doubt at all. Whoever doubts is like a wave in the sea that is driven and blown about by the wind.”
I sat back as my mind took me down memory lane to an incident, rather a miracle which had taken place when I was seven. I remember suffering from chronic cough which prolonged for months. Doctors and their medication failed to cure it. One night, I remember, I was lying down in bed next to my mother, coughing my lungs out. My mother couldn’t bear to see me suffer, so she told me to ask Jesus to heal me and added that Jesus never denied the prayers of little children. The minute she said that, I closed my eyes with tears, and without a single doubt I said, “Jesus, please heal me.”
I believed in what my mother had said and was sure that I would be healed. The next morning to my surprise, I found myself trying to cough but actually couldn’t. I was amazed and thought to myself that it was some kind of magic that had happened. As I came back to the present, I realised that this kind of faith that I had as a little child had slowly faded away. The worldly knowledge that I had gained, had overpowered my faith. It’s no wonder Jesus said that unless and until we become like little children, we wouldn’t be able to enter the kingdom of God.
I said to myself that I needed to change. I had to renew my faith. However hard it would be, I made up mind to have that faith which I had as a little child. That faith which had not a single doubt; that faith which placed God above the worldly knowledge that I had gained. St. Paul in his first letter to the Corinthians reminds us that our faith should not be in the wisdom of men, but in the Power of God.