Under the guidance of Country Servant A.V. Jose, CFCI Mangalore area organized an Inner Healing Retreat by Sr. Mary Usha S.N.D from 5th to 7th October 2012 for the members of CFCI Community, Mangalore Area, at Divine Call Centre, Mulky, Mangalore. Forty two members of community including CFCI Singles participated in this retreat. The retreat began in the morning on Friday 5th October by 9 am and concluded by 5.30 pm on Sunday 7th 0ctober 2012. Members participated whole heartedly. Provided below is the sharing done by some of the members in writing, though all members shared their experience at the retreat.
It is amazing how the things we consider as unimportant or minor can affect our being while we are in the womb. I am the second of three daughters to my parents. My parents were not aware that I was a girl until I was born. While I was born many, including my parents were disappointed that I was a girl. Even though this feeling was short-lived, that sense of rejection had affected me. My parents have loved me immensely, taken care of me and always encouraged me to do better. But I turned out to be a very sensitive child. The slightest of comments would hurt me and I would find myself dwelling on those hurts and crying secretly. Sr. Usha’s prayer of forgiveness has helped me tremendously. It has helped me find release from an unintentional hurt. Praise God.
– Pearl Dias, CFCI Single
I had this issue of not having a good relationship with my dad during my childhood. I had attended an inner healing retreat and forgiven my Dad and asked for his forgiveness, there was still that hurt feeling in me. When I attended Sr. Usha’s retreat and did the forgiveness prayer with the prayer “Jesus with your precious blood wash me clean” all the hurt memories of hurt were replaced with memories of the wonderful time I had with my Dad. It also helped me ask forgiveness from so many people and forgive those who hurt me knowingly or unknowingly and really set me free.
– Leslie Locker, CFCI Couples
I thank God for giving me an opportunity to make this Inner healing retreat of Sr. Mary Usha. I attend daily mass and it is required to walk up the hill to reach the Church. Every morning when I walk up this hill to the church I was experiencing pain in my legs and I was finding it increasingly difficult to reach the Church. After we returned from the retreat, from the very next morning I experienced no pain during my walk up the hill to church. I believe that The Lord has healed me & I thank & praise God. One more thing that I really liked in this retreat is, that we had this opportunity of forgiving not only who are alive but also people who are dead. We could do it practically during the retreat. This has helped me immensely. I can continue to do this & be set free from the remaining problems. Also share with others and ask them to do the same.
– Lydia Noronha, CFCI Couples
I thank God Almighty, for giving me an opportunity to make an” Inner healing retreat” for the first time, that too with Sr. Mary Usha. This was a different experience from other retreats. I had this worry about my son who has grown up and this is to bother me all the time before I could attend this retreat. However, I was set free from that worry after the retreat, as I got the grace to leave it in God’s hands and be free. I have the peace of mind now.
During retreat as we were asked to call Abba loudly. While I did so and called ‘Abba’ loudly, I experienced some sensation in my body. Also when I called Momma I saw an image of Mother Mary standing in front of me wearing white and blue dress and holding Rosary in her hand. This time I feel I was able to make a fruitful confession.Hope I will get another opportunity to attend Sr. Usha’s retreat so as to continue this process of inner healing.
– Norbert Noronha, CFCI Couples
When Sr. Usha was taking up the session on Healing of Ancestry, a number of questions were put forth and one of them was whether we like our name. Suddenly I was remembered of the incident of my lower class and how I felt insulted and the hurt was deep down hidden. The Lord showed me, since then how I used to hate my pet name called by my grandparents as they couldn’t pronounce my baptismal name , I used to feel angry when I remembered my God mother who suggested my name as Maxwell. The prayer of forgiveness as well as Psalm 40 helped me to forgive my God mother, to come out of my anger and insults. I am able to accept my name and don’t have the hurt and inferior feeling about my name. I thank and praise you Jesus.
– Maxwell Mascarenhas, CFCI Couples
In the first session itself, she taught us the prayer for forgiveness. I was enlightened during this session, how my mother’s anxiety when I was in her womb, as she lost my infant elder sister just before me, makes me anxious for unknown situations and things even now when I have grown. Through prayer and reasoning I used to struggle, to overcome this anxiety. But I never knew why I used to feel so. When sister Usha asked ‘Is there anyone who lost her brother or sister just before you’ I said, ‘yes’ and she helped me to go to the past and recall how I was pampered, overprotected etc. This affected my other sister who was ten years elder to me. She used to hate me and in turn I too did the same. During this retreat I recalled her before me in front of the blessed sacrament as she is no more on earth and I asked her forgiveness in the name of Jesus and asked Jesus to forgive us both and wash us with his precious blood. Jesus freed me from my negative feelings towards my sister. He has healed me. Free of my negative feelings, brings in me physical healing too During the same retreat, I was praying to Jesus during the way of the cross, to help me to forgive others as he was silent and not revolting. I never thought he would give me the opportunity during this retreat itself! The prayer of forgiveness is very powerful. I thank and praise you Jesus for such a powerful prayer and for Sr. Usha too.
– Juliana Mascarenhas, CFCI Couples
I did not attend this retreat willingly but rather forcibly. I now believe that this was Lords way of bringing me to this retreat. As Sr. Usha was talking to us, I realised about myself and began to understand what forgiveness is. I was made aware of my family wealth that is Anger, Anxiety etc. I also learnt as to why I was not able to forgive and the root cause for this nature of mine. Once I understood this I began to forgive everyone and started experiencing joy within. I am thankful to God for giving this opportunity & gift of holy spirit.
Thank you Jesus, Praise you Jesus.
– Sweety Lolita Dsouza, CFCI Couples
We are married for the last 6 years. The experience of this retreat was something special to us as a couple. The exercise of asking forgiveness & forgiving others in the name of Jesus gave us the relief from the burden of un-forgiveness which we were carrying all through within us. We experienced relief while asking Jesus to wash us with his precious blood and to set us free. As a couple, this renewed us and led us to look at each other as a new couple,
with new life, feeling lighter & better. We took this opportunity to share our life and break ourselves with each other which really changed the way in which we had understood each other till then. This has made us more open, understanding & humble. We realized that some of our weakness that we carry from our childhood is related to the
circumstances our mother had during the time when we were in her womb. We forgave our parents, our relatives, family friends & neighbour’s who perceivably may be the reason for all that has caused us for our present weakness that we carry in our attitude. The understanding helped us to have a good confession. Counseling with Sr. Usha helped us to clear our doubts & fears we were carrying from a long time.
During and after this retreat, we as a couple have really experienced a tremendous change in our feeling to each other & our relationship with God. Soon after we reached home we asked forgiveness with our parents. Next day in the office we were able to ask forgiveness with our colleagues (who were working with us for if we have ever hurt them in the past or doubted on them for no reason). We have decided not to tell lie at home or at our work even if the situation forces us to do so. Today we feel Jesus in our hearts, in our ways, in our speech & in our attitude. We are experiencing the joy which had eluded us so far..!
Praise the Lord.
– Sudesh & Reshma, CFCI Couples
It was a really an enriching experience. I had heard about inner healing, but really didn’t know what it meant. I came to know what internal pain means. And the effect it has on our normal course of life. This thought enabled me to understand how important it is to be healed of our inner pains in order to lead a peaceful life. After the retreat, I personally experienced it. Secondly, I always thought that forgiveness was a difficult thing to be practiced. But during the retreat I realized that I don’t forgive, but it is the Lord who does it. I only need to be set FREE by the Lord. Sr. Usha told us the method of inner healing and therefore it became easier. Hence I have already started practicing the inner healing. The strong witnesses of the participants made me realize the intensity of pain which people endure, without having an effective cure of mind and heart.
I also realised that unless the mind and heart is set free of the bondage’s through inner healing, we will still be leading a painful life, painful relationships only by wearing masks of happy cheerful faces. I praise and thank the LORD for the opportunity. Also Pray for Sr. Usha. May God Almighty continue His wonderful work of healing people through her.
– Fredrick Ferrao, CFCI Couples